[Friday, March 28th, 1am]
We survived the ides of March somehow. (You did too if you're reading this. If you live in a snowy cold horrid dark medieval winterplace, CONGRATULATIONS! It's almost hellebore season!)
A blur of Block Shop. We launched our new collection a few weeks ago, which we've been been SO excited about (we've been working on it since we were in India in June!). We sold out of a few colorways faster than we could have predicted, which is both panic-inducing and thrilling, but we're about to get a new batch in any day. Hopie was in Bagru in January overseeing our first mobile healthcare clinic and eight older members of our co-op family finally just had their cataract surgeries. Block Shop is growing, our co-op is growing, and we have exciting things ahead of us. This puts everything in perspective when I type it out like that, but sometimes I wake up a little blue and as the day wears on I go from general self-worth malaise into an athletic swan-dive of unmollifiable (not a word) anguish. Anxiety! Self-doubt! The Gemini of millennial privilege! Whee! I called my mom when I was feeling bad about myself/the world/the art market/Ukraine/not giving Dolly enough exercise during the March freeze-over and she said "oh HONESTLY, go outside, get some exercise, and then get back to work." She's so tough sometimes! And always, maddeningly, right.
Last night P. and I, exhausted, dragged our bones down to our corner bar for a dinner of their unbelievably satisfying curried sweet potato fries –because we basically stopped cooking this year save for the occasional random jolt of inspiration like these to-DIE-for lemongrass coconut broth mussels– to celebrate the completion of his thesis. It's about water and conflict in Southern Africa. I wish I could be more articulate about it, it's incredible and inspiring and troubling all at the same time, but it's already almost 1am, so instead I will lay out a simple hierarchy of Goldfinches for you:
The Goldfinch (the book) < The Goldfinch (the painting) < a real goddamn goldfinch, which is a miracle of evolution and makes me believe life is worth living even when my mom is unsympathetic about my low-grade seasonal effectiveness disassociation or whatever it's called. I saw one (a goldfinch) at our feeder in Joshua Tree on Sunday, the day I finished that endless snoooooze of a book, and I thought at myself, JESUS CHRIST, go outside, get some exercise, and get back to work. (SEE? Moms! Always getting in their daughters' heads!)
[three days earlier, Joshua Tree]
We blew our tiny Flat Top budget on a number of things, most recently and comprehensively on replacing the 1950's jalousie windows with super-efficient windows that actually open and close, so we're holding off on the Phase Two stuff until I sell some paintings and P. finishes grad school in June and starts work.
We got into a minor disagreement because I sneak-bought $200-worth of plants while P. was on his phone and thought I was "only getting a hose." Which is $200 we really don't have to spend on Non-Essentials. "But it's for the FUTURE," I insisted. "It's an INVESTMENT."
(Do you want to know what they were? Yes you do, because you too are sneaky and love botanizing: mountain aloe, desert spoon, a rare lavender-colored Jerusalem sage, and a dozen artichoke agave pups. Everything else we've planted were free cuttings and pups from local hort friends.)
We compromised (no we didn't. I kept ALL the plants.) and made really excellent margaritas and watched the sun go down over the mesa and schemed about the future.
Outside. Exercise. BACK TO WORK.
[present day, reality, in real life, but also online]
If you're a Block Shop person, you hopefully already know this, but just in case you missed it, use code BLOCKSHOPSPRING on orders of two or more at checkout for a 15% discount. http://www.blockshoptextiles.com/